Powerless
by Nerd.princess123
Summary: I watched you fall apart and chased you to the end. / I'm left with emptiness that words cannot defend / You'll never know what I became because of you


**AN: Yes, Reyna's my new favorite character. **

**Powerless**

I felt powerless as I watched you fall in the battle. I loved you. Correction: I love you. You were the first person to break down the armor that I created for myself. I trust you. Correction: I trust_ed _you.

Now I don't know what's happening. You were fighting Porphyrion when all of a sudden Aquilo attacked you. And then you were gone. Dead, your blue eyes that always managed to make me happy, even in the past year, were lifeless, but not on the past ten months when you went over to the Greeks and had new friends and a new _girlfriend,_ and forgot all about your best friend and perhaps something more.

Your Greek friends gave out a cry of anguish. I had no idea why they felt so bad for your death, they never knew you anyway. I was the one who knew you, the real _you._ You weren't Greek; you were a hard stoic Roman. Jackson and the lieutenant of Diana attacked Porphyrion, killing him with the help of Jupiter, or Zeus.

I didn't stop when I saw you falling. I knew I had to be a true Roman. One of our Praetors had to be a true Roman. My eyes didn't tear or I didn't scream like your Aphrodite girl when you fell. My heart didn't break. You already broke it

I know you felt trap when you were here. That's something every demigod whose parent had a Greek counterpart felt. You told me that once, after the time we went for our first quest.

We were ragged and the whole camp welcomed us cheerfully, with the exception of Octavian. He never liked us, did he? I stabbed a telkhine. We were sitting on the lunch table, our current Praetors allowed everyone to stay up late and we talked for our hours. That was the first time you ever told me.

_"I don't like it here. I mean, I love it. Just sometimes I feel trapped."_

I replied with a 'I know'. But I didn't know, did I? Bellona had no Greek counterpart. Sometimes I feel glad that she didn't. But sometimes I don't. If she did, maybe I could break out like you. But right now I had a duty to fulfill.

Somehow I ended up fighting beside your little Aphrodite girl and the Vulcan kid. Both of them were a mess. I could see they thought they loved you. I had to save them twice from attacking Khione and Aquilo. They would surely die. I didn't care for them, but they were your friends.

I felt horrifying when we won. I had no idea how many days it had gone since you died. Maybe five? Maybe one? Maybe three weeks? Months? Years? I had no idea. But they found your body. Di Angelo helped the Greeks to find your body. I liked that kid.

You promised me. You promised that you'll never leave.

_I was cleaning Skippy. I got him as a gift from my mother, after the time we destroyed that Sea Monster. It was a Saturday. The only day I wasn't tied to my Roman duties. As a centurion we both had lots of duties, but this was the only day we decided not to have any duties. _

_You came up beside me. "Reyna," You grinned._

_I jumped up in horror. If most people did that they'd have a dagger under their chin but it was you after all. You were the only exception._

_"Grace," I scolded. Skippy neighed. I could get that Skippy didn't appreciate me calling you Grace instead of Jason. "Don't scare me like that. You could've died."_

_You pouted. You always had a Roman exterior around yourself, but a childish side too. You could say that it was your Greek side. At that time, you only acted like that around me. "You wouldn't kill me, would you? You love me."_

_I laughed. It was something that you were able to take out. My laugh. It died with you, you know. "Yeah, I love you." I do._

_You slung an arm lazily around me. And I forgot everything people said about you. That you were a son of Jupiter, and you are – were – only capable of breaking hearts. I know today I shouldn't have forgotten it._

_The promise you made was a lazy promise too. We were elected as Praetors after Johnson died and Marla retired. We were sitting on the fountain inside the Praetors' villa. After we got here, we noticed a lot of things._

_Like how there was a conjoined villa for both the Praetors. And single ones too. You and I laughed at the conjoined villa. I secretly hoped that you wished that _we_ could move in there together someday._

_It was also the day you disappeared and ended up somewhere where you met the Greeks. It was irony. Or maybe The Fates just hated me. It was all the same for me. _

_You had a grip on my hand, and my heart too. But you were holding my hand physically. If I remember what Venus said that you were not me, I would've let it go. But I forgot all about it. Inside my mind she was yelling at me to let you go, but I loved you._

_"Arellano," You started jokingly and I hit you on the chest. You faked hurting and clasped your heart on your chest._

_"Reyna, I'm hurt." You joked._

_"Yeah, yeah, the Almighty Praetor is hurt. Someone take a picture," I yelled. No one could hear us, or else none of us would've acted like this. We had duties._

_He glared at me before picking me up bridal style. I knew what to do if someone took me somewhere unwillingly. Hit them with your elbow. But it was you. So for once, I acted like a regular sixteen year old. I thrashed and yelled._

_"Let me down, Grace. I swear to Pluto…" Splash. Yes you did it. You threw me in the water. _

_You were laughing when I got up. Your blue eyes. Normally, no one would have the guts to throw me inside a fountain, but it was you after all. You were allowed to do anything. I got up and grinned mischievously._

_You caught me eyes and backed up. "Reyna, I'm sorry. Don't… do it." His voice turned shrilly just before I splashed some water at him. _

_"How do you like it, Jason?" I asked laughing. He grinned before jumping inside the fountain splashing me with more water. Somehow we ended up in water fight. We were dripping wet when it ended. _

_"You're going to catch a cold." Jason said to me as we were warming up. I was shivering. My teeth were shaking and I was cold. I rolled my eyes at him. He came up to me and wrapped his blanket around me. It was toasty warm. I forgot he generated electricity. It warmed the blanket._

_I smiled at him. "Good thing you didn't die in the war." I said jokingly. We had lots of casualties but somehow you made it okay for me._

_You looked serious. You twined our fingers together and looked at me. My heart was racing and I wanted so much for you to kiss me. For you to break my walls, again. But instead you promised that you would never leave you._

_"You don't have to worry, Reyna. I'm never going to leave you. Not even when I'm dead." Your eyes looked serious and your face was inches away from me. Your hands were passing electricity, not enough to hurt someone but enough to give a tingle throughout my whole body. "I'm going to haunt you." You smiled._

_I smiled too. "Don't break your promise, I'll kill you myself." I warned._

_"I swear on Styx, Reyna." You promised before kissing me on the cheek. Thank the gods it was dim light or I swear you would've seen me blushing. _

I don't know what happens when someone breaks an oath they made in the name of Styx. Maybe they die? Perhaps they suffer eternal punishment after they die. But even though you hurt me I didn't want you to go through eternal punishment, for a stupid little promise.

Or maybe, you really are going to haunt me.

_"He's missing." Gwen told me. _

_"What do you mean he's missing?" I barked out._

_"We couldn't find him, Reyna. Nowhere." Gwen was my best friend but I swear at that moment I wanted to tear her apart. _

_"Where did you look for him?" I asked calmly. Regaining my posture slowly._

_"Everywhere."_

"Outside the camp too?"

_"Yes. We've been searching for the past five hours."_

_"Maybe, he forgot something. He went outside the camp to buy it. Yes that must be it." I started frantically, my calmness fading._

_"Reyna. He. Is. Gone." Gwen repeated each word, slowly. "And you are allowed to feel sad."_

_That's when all Tartarus broke loose. Thank the gods no one was there at the time. They wouldn't want to hear the screams and shouts and breakage by their strong unbroken Praetor breaking._

_Then I shook up from my state and lead the camp alone. That was the first time you broke my heart. I didn't care. I still loved you. I still love you._

I stood tall as the gods rewarded everyone for helping in the Second Giant war. Somehow I ended up getting stripped – they called it retiring – off my Praetorship and was asked to go to a college in Seattle.

Hylla said that she'd help me move on and I was grateful. I remembered that once upon a time I wanted to spend my college days with you, in Rome.

That night they burned your burial shroud. I wasn't included in the 'they'. Piper Mclean and Leo Valdez were. They stood there crying pathetically while they lit the shroud in fire. Everyone stood for the death of one of the Seven. Everyone, even the gods.

I didn't.

I was sitting there sipping something that burned my throat. And let me temporarily forget about you. I knew what you would've said if you found me like that. You would've smashed the bottle and give me a long lecture.

I probably would've shouted at you but still have my head on your shoulder. You would've easily faded the pain.

No one said anything as I sat and sipped the drink. There was no one to tell me anything. Gwen is dead. Dakota is dead. You are dead. Annabeth and Percy were too wrapped up around each other; those were the only Greeks I liked.

Your girlfriend and best friend were sitting beside me. Still crying and mourning your death. Pathetic.

"Will you two stop crying?" I asked them exasperatedly. Both of them looked quite surprised that I was talking with them. But I wasn't finished. "You two are pathetic. I get that Greeks are soft-hearted and cries at little things. But really, how well did you know Jason? You guys didn't even know that he was a son of Jupiter. You guys thought he was a son of Zeus."

"You knew a side of him. I knew every bit of him. You guys probably knew Jason when he was standing confidently. You guys didn't know him when he was angry or sad. Or even happy. You only knew what the whole world saw. The respected strong Demigod, everyone could rely on. I bet occasionally you were even jealous of his _oh-so-awesome_ demigod powers." They were both silent. Everyone was watching me but I didn't care.

"I knew him. He was my best friend. Still is. I loved him. I love him. You guys didn't even know that much about him to miss him." As a grand finale I smashed the bottle to the ground and walked out. Hylla tried to follow me but I'm sure Annabeth and Bellona stopped her. Somehow, Annabeth knew me more than my own sister.

I walked and walked far away from the battlefield and far away from _them._ I heard the boy shout something to Jackson but I couldn't hear them. I found a stream and sat there wetting my feet.

I could hear your voice in my head. _"You shouldn't have been rude to them."_

It wasn't just my conscience. I was actually hearing your voice. I was going crazy. I whipped my head backwards and saw a thin silhouette. Slowly you came to me and sat beside me. I could see you for what you were before the war changed you.

"I thought you would be proud. I opened up to everyone." I said sarcastically.

He gave me a look. "They're my friends."

"Yeah. Your best friend and your girlfriend. I'm sorry I hurt their easily hurt feelings. I'll just go and say sorry to them."

You smiled apologetically before wrapping your arms around me. I thought they'd pass through but they were around my waist. But I couldn't feel anything. I looked at him, shocked.

"It would've been great if I could feel you." You looked at me with a smile that hid the scar on your lip. I loved that scar. It symbolizes that the beautiful have scars too. Perhaps not that prominent, but they do have scars.

That was the day I was marked as the crazy woman. People would often find me talking to thin air but they still feared me. I joined the Amazons. Something, you didn't approve but still let me do it.

I felt powerless when you weren't with me.

I felt powerless yet powerful when you were with me.

But the only thing mattered to me that you kept your promise.


End file.
